Alien Buddha: Film Critic 10 best and worst movies of 2019

Alien Buddha: Film Critic

10 best and worst movies of 2019midsommar-2019-19-1067x800.jpg

 

*Big Green has not seen every movie made this year. Notable 2019 releases that I did not see, therefore could not consider include Dr. Sleep, and Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker.

 

Alien Buddha’s Favorites

  1. Detective Pikachu– An unexpected stab at a Pokémon movie. Seemingly made specifically for the millennials who were into it when it first came out 25 years ago.

 

  1. The Last Black Man in San Francisco– Beautiful simplicity here. Both funny and sad. Masterful score and cinematography.

 

  1. Toy Story 4– The best family movie of the year.

 

  1. The Dirt- I saw this Mötley Crüe biopic on a lot of worst of 2019 lists. I am not even a fan of their music, but this movie was far too memorable to not be considered a good movie. The best comedy of the year.

 

  1. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood– This movie had the potential to land at least one spot higher. It ran a little long, and without giving away any spoilers, due to the ending which was the best part of the movie, many of Margo Robbie’s scenes portraying Sharon Tate could have been cut without hurting the plot whatsoever. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is still Quentin Tarantino’s best film since Jango Unchained, and a refreshing outing as his first movie without the disgraced Weinstein bros financing him.

 

 

  1. Avengers Endgame– I made it a point to only include 1 superhero movie in my top ten, and this one was my choice hands down. The Three-hour runtime does not even drag in this escapist masterpiece.

 

  1. Us- Cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers for the win. Most any other year this movie would have been the best horror movie released. When I first saw it in March I thought it could have ended up being the best movie of the year.

 

  1. Joker– I said that Endgame would be the only superhero flick on my list, and I meant it. Joker closer resembles an old school Martin Scorsese flick than any superhero movie. Anybody who calls this #1 has a strong case.

 

  1. El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie– My bias might be showing here. As a standalone movie, El Camino probably would not have cracked the top 5; but as a major breaking bad fan this movie was just so satisfying for me. So many things could have gone wrong here, and Vince Gilligan pulled a rabbit of his hat and gave his fans a truly brilliant extra chapter to the saga.

 

  1. Midsommar– This movie was so fucked up in the best possible way. Possibly the best picture of the decade. Ari Aster is a mad genius. The best portrayal of psilocybin hallucinations I have ever seen in a movie. The most unique horror flick ever produced.

 

(Honorable mentions)

Spiderman Far from Home, Shazam, Escape Room, Crawl, The Prodigy,

Alita: Battle Angel, The Black String

 

 

 

 

Worst Movies I Sat Through

10 The Fanatic– I was unsure about which list to put this movie on, I just knew it absolutely had to be on one of them. “The Dirt” was a shitshow of a movie, but made my best-of list for being memorable. The Fanatic is the best bad movie of 2019. Fred Durst has no business directing movies, and John Travolta is a sad clown. All that being said, I absolutely would watch this bad movie again.

 

9-8-7 (Dumbo- The Lion King- Aladdin) I am going to do the next three movies all at once, because they are all shit for the same reason. If you don’t touch something for a certain amount of years, it becomes public domain; so Disney likes to rehydrate their old shit every now and then, rather than flush it. These three movies were made for no other reason. Disney was even prepared for them to tank at the box office. They don’t even mind the bad reviews, as they get mentioned, thus proving they exist and Disney can sue you for fucking with it.

 

6 MA– This movie tried it’s best, and to be fair, me being partial to horror movies might have just gotten ignored completely if it wasn’t for that.

 

5 The Curse of La Llorona- Dull and forgettable. Not scary.

 

4 Velvet Buzzsaw- Biggest disappointment of 2019. The trailer looked so good, but the movie was pretentious and derivative.

 

3 Annabelle Comes Home- I saw this as the first part of a double-feature with Midsommar, and for all the reasons I loved that movie I hated this one. Too dark to see anything, too whispery to hear anything and too reliant on jump scares. Bleh

 

2 Yesterday- If you woke up tomorrow and this movie never existed, you would be in a better place. Cowardly and up its own ass. BLEH

 

1 The Dead Don’t Die- Fuck this movie. This is what you get when you spend a boatload of money on actors, and then just say ‘the hell with it’ with every other aspect of production. Seriously, fuck this piece of shit movie. I had half a mind to pull every copy out of the Redbox, and frisbee them across a congested freeway.

dead_3.png

(Dishonorable Mention)

The Utah Cabin Murders  (would have easily been top three worst, if i considered it a real movie).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s