Spotlight: RELAX/RELAPSE by Joseph Cassis

2am:

because it’s always 2am
when I decide to change my strides, baby;
when I decide I should take the higher road.
for the trench that I’d dug
in this mud with lust
is a trench that I would gladly be buried in.

won’t you spill my blood in your mud?
won’t you take my name and drag it home?
bury me deep in the things that you’ll keep.
I’ll be your greatest regret,
it’ll be the best;
I swear, it’ll feel so fucking good
for the hottest of moments.

take me into your heart like a grave.
You make me feel so safe,
that I’ll drive you insane.

I’d break my bones for a home
in the chest of your soul,
and be the worst thing you’ve ever known.
I could be the love
that you wish
you could let go of.

the regret who knows
how to make you laugh.

The Artist 1 – Canvas:

oh, wonderful artist,
unique visionary;
am I priceless
or worthless?
Am I pretty enough for you
to put on your fridge?
Will you hang me for all to see?
Will I be buried after you’ve finally moved past me?

the strokes you take now, so different,
aren’t as free as they used to be.
I thank you for painting my canvas
when your hands were genuine.
When your eyes saw wonder
in every flaw.
When you saw me as a work of art,
and not as practice.

maybe I’ve been lucky enough
to be stored in your attic.
Somewhere deep in the cobwebs;
where every once in a while
you sneak up from your life,
to dig me out;
just to look back
for a split second,
and gaze upon the masterpiece
you buried.

this messy canvas you used to love.

Balloon:

you’re the child
and I am the balloon
you let go of
for something new.
As I drift above,
watching your eyes fade, and finally look away;
I just keep getting higher
and higher
and higher
with no idea why
I wasn’t pretty enough for you to hold onto.

I’m so fucking high now, I can’t see the ground
and I know I’m never coming down.
I find it getting colder,
and harder to breathe.
I’m not feeling very well.
I guess this is where I’ll finally burst.

but even as I
explode into
a million pieces;
I will never forget
how your hands felt
when you held me
like I was
special.

My Teddy Bear’s First Birthday In Heaven:

I know
that I’m not lost
as my woes
get the best of me,
at least
not today.

I won’t
lend any hope
to my darkness,
at least
not today.

the absence
of your arms
will not be felt
with sadness,
at least
not today.

no, not today.
Today is your birthday.
Today is a good day
to remember
the light, and
love
you gave everyone.

I may be
shedding tears
while watching the movies we loved
alone in my room, but
I feel your hand on my back
reminding me
that you are always here,
and that this world
isn’t always bullshit.

sometimes, it gives you
the greatest of gifts..
sometimes, it gives you
a glimpse of true
unrequited love
and friendship.

sometimes, it gives us
treasures like you
to cherish forever.

I miss you so much.

LeadWeight:

has the sun turned to lead?
I sit here soaking in it
with a poisoned feeling in my skin.

the water beneath my feet
has it’s shine in my eyes
and I’m burning alive.
bursting every daydream
where you sit here
next to me.

teeming with wonder,
eyes of an angel’s kind;
exploratory and divine.
held in a chest so unkempt
yet true.

this warmth isn’t
as nice
without you…

nothing is.

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