SPOTLIGHT: Personal Ad Poetry by John Dorroh

“Hair Stylist Needs More Than a Wave”

Hi all of you. Allow me to introduce myself.
Call me JK for now. I’m an award-winning
hair stylist in the burbs. Some of you may
know me from social media or maybe you’ve
let me work on your hair. First and foremost
is my passion for hair and doing it right for
your face, your body, your spirit. I always say
that if you look good, you’ll feel good. Any-
way, that can all be addressed later. I am a
gay man (who would have thought, right?)
who appreciates the finer things in life: good
wine & cheese, fine food, the arts, and hair.
Did I tell you I’m absolutely in love with hair?
I am looking for something permanent. I’ve
had too many flakes for BFs. Way too much
baggage. Turn-ons: Honesty, kissing, staying
home with my man with a good movie and
cuddling. Turn-offs: Hate-mongers, smoke,
drunks, liars, cheaters. Call me, girl. Be nice.

“Retired Lumberjack Seeks Friends”

Hello. I can’t tell you my name because
of obvious reasons. But I can tell you
that I was a lumberjack in Maine for 25
years. Now I have a safer job and I’m
looking for friends and possibly more.
I’m six feet tall and weigh 275 pounds.
I’m a grandfather to two sweet children
and if that bothers you, then you are the
wrong person. I own my own home and
have a business there that is separate from
the house. I also belong to a local gym
but I’m not a health nut at all. I like all
kinds of food from vegetables to steak &
hamburgers. I smoke about five cigarettes
a year and the occasional cigar. I used to
go to church. I expect loyalty and a good
sense of humor. I sold all of my lumber-
jack equipment, so don’t think that I’ll
ever cut you up into pieces if we have a
disagreement. Ha-ha. Take a chance ok?

“Lady of the Evening Wants Normal”

What’s happenin’ readers of this little
rag of a paper? Two of my friends told
me that they found good men by using
this space. So why not? I need a normal
relationship. My night job is my real job
and it’s very demanding. Most think that
a lady of the evening has it so easy. Just
set up a date, let him set the time and let
it happen. Well, no, that’s not all you
have to do. I need normal stuff. Shopping
with the girls, maybe a kid or two, feeling
my man’s hands on my body, not some
paying cheater who is here tonight and
gone tonight. BAM! So, if you are willing
to meet me for drinks or a cup of coffee
and see for yourself that I can be a very
normal woman, please make that call.
I’m more than ready to hear from you.

“Local Dominatrix Seeking Subjects for Study”

Hi People! Let the party begin. Meesha
has just entered the building. I am look-
ing for subjects for a research project. I
cannot divulge the subject of my project
but I can guarantee that you’ll love it. Do
I have your attention? Not yet, you say.
Well, contact me using the secret codes
below so that I can give you an enema..
oops, I meant interview. Let’s see if you
have what it takes to be whipped into
a froth and come out loving your mama.


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