SPOTLIGHT: what they don’t tell you about going over a cliff by Ashley Varela

loving you up

delmar cannot stop thinking
about the horny toad heartbeat —
rhythm cleaved from body,

what it means
to be remade
by god & siren.

my thoughts do not run so deep.

i cannot stop thinking,
for example,
of our thumbs pressed together,

how our heartbeats were carved
from the same riverbank,
& how impossible we have made it

to divide pulse from pulse in the dark.

nest relief :: begging call

all night
i am open
to you

all night, my mouth
finds new ways
of calling you

& when i wake
still cocooned
in you

you pull me
closer, saying
come here

saying all night
i thought about

7 minutes in heaven

tell me you love me
but shhh —

so quietly that the universe
cannot hear you.

god knows
she doesn’t need us

putting any more ideas
in her head.

when you say you love me) what you mean is

god was never
the blueprint.

we were

& are.

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