Spotlight: Elf on the Shelf Cums on Christmas by Jay Miner

elf on

the shelf

blows strangers

for sandwiches

elf on the shelf
robs a liquor store
saturday night special

elf on

the shelf

knocks over

a bank

elf on the shelf
lights molotov cocktails
at friday night bingo

elf on the shelf
bleeds the cops
brake fluid

elf on
the shelf
steals santas sleigh

mows down
power walkers
in bougey neighborhoods

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